Would it be hard to believe that I’m the patient that finds an urgent chore to do when the doctor said to rest. I’m the mother that feels guilty sleeping in on Saturday when there’s laundry and chores to be done. I am the worker bee that feels bad when she’s 5 minutes late to work. As if all my hard work is overshadowed by five minutes. I set standards that although attainable can unintentionally wear me down.
Today while reaching for hangers in my closet I felt a stab in my chest where my port was placed and I thought about a card I received that read “be a good patient”. Truth is I’m a horrible patient. I do not know how to be still. I’m an over achiever by nature. Doing is what I do best.
After the stabbing pain I decided I was going to be a good patient for the weekend. Coincidentally earlier today my husband and I spoke on what it meant to be still and to abide with Christ. It was time for some physical rest.
Then a box arrived at the house. It was a care package from Pink Perspective. It was filled with beautifully pink items and when I saw the T-shirt with the word “Warrior” on it I was spiritually moved. You know the feeling you have when something unexplainable happens? Warrior, my last blog entry and the name of the song my sisters gave to me as an anthem song.
In the box there was also a yearly devotional, “Jesus Calling”. Only a few days prior it sat on the desk of a nurse we met to discuss chemo treatments. I knew there was something special about her and pointed out the book to my sisters. So imagine the goosebumps when it appeared in the box. One of the items had a label that contained a verse from Exodus 14:14 that read “the Lord will fight for you, you only need to be still”.
If there’s ever been a moment I need to learn to be still is now. Jesus is making something beautiful out of the ashes of this story. The miracles are in the details of the last few months and the details of the days to come.
I’ve seen Him move and I believe He will do it again.