Today I was able to undress, shower and get dressed alone with no assistance. Seems rather insignificant but it was a big step towards recovery for me. Trying to become independent after being so dependent felt so incredibly big today. It was a proverbial “put on my big girl panties” type of day.
Many of you know how instrumental my mother was the first two weeks of recovery but in the last few days I’ve had a lot of time to think about every act of kindness towards me. It was a major eye opener. If you looked at them individually many may appear to be small but collectively it has had a monumental impact on my life.
In the book of Hebrews 6:19 it reads “this hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast”. For Christians, Jesus is the unfailing hope of all who believe in Him. Our anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast.
Why is an anchor significant? For sailors putting down an anchor meant a safe end to a long journey. A symbol of safety. During Roman persecution the anchor was also used to disguise the cross for secret Christian meetings. It was a marker to guide the way. For Christians it is a symbol of hope too.
So let me connect the dots here… How has He been my anchor both sure and steadfast these days?
He gave me family and friends who loved me back to health and in retrospect they have all served as anchors in my life.
When the pain was unbearable I received a pillow I could wrap around me for support and every time I held it I imagined hugging my friend.
When I could of easily slept the day away, visits gave me a reason to laugh with the most incredible people. When they called, their words of encouragement pulled me out of the sinking quicksand of my negative thinking.
When I felt unattractive I received a beautiful dress and with it a new sense of style. I thought how can I make this new look work for me? And overnight I felt good in my cloths.
When my mom was tired from lack of sleep a personal delivery of tacos one night and another delivery of an Italian feast from friends another night gave her a much needed break and fed my family. Even when my mom was there to provide, friends loved on her too.
When my mom left, a meal train and gift cards to local restaurants filled the void. Not to mention the beautiful cards in the mail, the books on the night stand, the beautiful plants from family and flowers from angels disguised as friends… all filling my heart with hope.
Most importantly when my pain and tears were hidden from everyone my husband privately anchored me to his heart.
Recently in an earlier blog I referred to family and friends as my California redwoods. Trees with shallow roots that extend over a hundred feet intertwining with roots of other redwoods that gives them their ability to remain strong during storms. You all held me up.
But you all have been anchors in my life.
An anchor, a device made of metal, used to connect a ship to the bottom of the ocean, preventing it from drifting, keeping it safe, strong and steadfast.