My first day without my mom went without a hitch. It started off a little sad. I woke to find a quiet house. My husband and daughter had already left for the day. I looked over to the side of my bed and there sat a cold cup of coffee.
I called my husband at work to inquire about the cup of coffee. He said I asked him to bring me a cup and for a bible study. When they came upstairs I was fast asleep.
Maybe subconsciously I longed for our routine prior to the journey. Early morning coffee and a bible study to start the day. Instead my husband said he enjoyed watching me sleep. Sleep meant healing and recovery. My healing meant we could return to normal.
But will I ever return to normal?
Probably not. Actually, I hope not. Yes, there are hard days. At times, really hard days. But God is still in control and as Paul remind us in the book of Roman there is no one or nothing that can separate us from God’s love.
Cancer wins only if I let it consume me. It wins if I fail to live my best life. It wins if I fail to cherish the One who walks with me every step of the way, Jesus. I can not grieve today as if I have no hope.
Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. ~ Hebrews 11:1
Yes, my soul find rest in GOD; my hope comes from him. ~ Psalm 62:5
And Mom, if you are reading this I did miss you.
“How luckly I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” ~ Winnie the Pooh