I am Whole

Am I whole? I am missing a piece of me. Actually I’m missing a couple of pieces. I look in the mirror and there is a different woman staring out at me. I am unrecognizable. I feel as if I lost a few limbs. Categorically a pair of tatas should count for limbs.

Yet, tonight as I sat listening to the rain come down washing away some of the horrid moments of the last two days I thought of my mom. She found a comment I made about “not knowing what to do with myself” hysterical tonight. She needed a little laughter as much as I needed to unequivocally care less about an image. It didn’t matter what I was missing but what I managed to maintain. Me. God’s plan for me. Metaphorically perhaps the rain was a much needed cleansing we all needed.

So am I whole, complete, lacking nothing? Well if looking at myself in the mirror and managing a good laugh tonight counts for anything I would say yes I am.

Cancer may have invaded some cells but it did not steal my joy.

The part about being whole that matters the most is the whole that matters to Him. My whole life matters to Him. That’s greater than the sum of any of it’s parts.

2 thoughts on “I am Whole

  1. Wow,
    Haydee, this just blew me away. I am in awe of your faith. This tribute to God’s peace & joy, that they can coexist with pain. God Bless ❤ As always, you & your precious family are in my prayers.
    In Christ,
    Michelle Rivera

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Your joy, your spirit, your strength, your faith…. NONE of these were lost with your tatas, and you are FULLY you!!!! I don’t say this to belittle the magnitude of this physical transition. I say this to help recognize the beauty of how others see you. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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