This weekend in church the lyrics to a worship song ministered to me and I quickly wrote them down. It read “I am who you say I am, I am a child of God yes I am”. I went home wondering who does God say I am? A child of God? I am 46 years old and I rarely think of myself as a child but when I heard these lyric my heart stirred.
As a child my parents had often reminded me how I was a reflection of them in the world. It was their reminder to me to behave myself in public. Interestingly the message in church was also focused on the verse in Matthew 5 which reads “you are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden”. So I am also a light to the world. This light is supposed to shine before others so they can give glory to my Father in heaven. Again, a reflection of God in the world.
I will be honest there are times when I am just not feeling like a light. Yesterday in particular was a sad day for me. I allowed my mind to entertain dissappointment, regret and fear. Instead of meditating on “whatever things are true, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report” as stated in Phil 4 I allowed myself to entertain thoughts that made me feel sorry for myself. I was having a very quiet pity party.
This morning my husband Ray may have sensed a struggle within me and he shared a story with me. Someone at church this weekend expressed how impressed he was with me after spending a few minutes talking with me. That was really encouraging. Then Ray told me what he shared with this nice man. My husband told him how strong I have been even when no one was looking and how it wasn’t a front or show I put on for everyone to see. Even at home I was strong. I needed to hear that. They saw God’s light in me. At that moment I felt God filled a hole in my own heart. I really am who He says I am.
When I was weak God was there to make me strong. I am a light in this world. A city on a hill. A child of God, yes I am.